Love Rules: A Guide to Creating HR Policies on Workplace Romance

Few matters are as complex as those of the heart, but the risks that accompany a workplace romance are doubly strenuous for everyone involved. An HR policy on office romance is often essential to keep such matters under control, because a company policy that prohibits employees from dating is rarely as effective as an organization might like. As excessive as rules for romance may sound, knowing how to handle workplace relationships is key to addressing complications when they do arise.

Businesses can, of course, choose to turn a blind eye to workplace romances to allow workers to handle matters among themselves. However, this does not absolve them of the responsibility of resolving complications if necessary. Regardless of whether employers want to regulate romance in the workplace or not, it’s in everyone’s best interest for HR to set some basic guidelines on navigating a workplace romance.

Do Organizations Really Need to Create an HR Policy on Navigating an Office Romance?

Employees spend a majority of their lives in the workplace, interacting with their colleagues and building relationships at work. Not all of them head to work in order to find love on the job, but many are open to the possibility of it finding them unannounced. Watching The Office or Set It Up might have convinced some of the charming side of workplace romance. Other, more risqué stories like Babygirl, convince some that the risks are interesting enough to toe the line on appropriate workplace behavior.

The appeal of a workplace romance is particularly apparent among younger workers, many of whom are more agreeable to a return-to-work order for the sole reason that it would widen their circles and help them find companionship and conversation. Research from EduBirdie found that 1 in 3 Gen Z workers felt this way about RTO mandates. Gen Zers appear to be reluctant users of dating apps, with their negative experience with digital dating leading them to turn to their workplace in the hopes of finding someone better suited to them.

For the most part, workplace romances are frowned upon as employees are aware of the risks that accompany such decisions, but this caution doesn’t make them entirely resistant to the possibility. EduBirdie also found that 21% of the younger generation have previously applied for a job in hopes of finding their match there, and 15% admitted to choosing an organization or industry based on the people they expected to meet there. HR may not want to get involved with managing workplace relationships, but the need to actively participate is evident.

Should Workplace Relationships Be Allowed By HR?

The reason we’re discussing how to handle workplace relationships rather than how to put a stop to them is that it can be nearly impossible for employers to set regulations forbidding romantic relationships on the job. HR teams can certainly try to create an office romance policy that strictly prohibits starting relationships at work, but this usually only results in employees hiding their relationship from their employers.

HR teams can set conditions on workplace behavior and how employees conduct themselves during their 9-to-5, but regulating their personal lives is much harder and only turns the workforce against the employer. When it comes to employees dating their coworkers at work, setting essential rules on etiquette and disclosure in place can be a more beneficial strategy.

This, however, does not mean that all workplace romances are made equal and should be encouraged. In cases where there is a distinct difference in power or one employee is a decision-maker in the career of the other, it may be necessary to intervene. Recent incidents, such as the Nestlé CEO’s inappropriate relationship with an employee, came with the consequence of dismissal. Such strict measures are necessary when an employee’s rights can be compromised by dating coworkers.

How Can HR Create Guidelines on Workplace Romance

Setting rules for dating coworkers at work may sound like an uncomfortable idea, but it isn’t nearly as bad as having to sit down and have a conversation about inappropriate behavior at work after an incident occurs. Establishing clear guidelines on how to handle workplace relationships can allow employees to determine how to approach such a situation themselves and shape their next steps with some clarity.

Some aspects to consider while creating a company policy on employee dating at work:

• Determine the company’s stance on the workplace relationship and the organization’s level of involvement in such matters
• Define the guidelines clearly in the employee handbook and explain the regulations to new hires during onboarding
• Create a simple disclosure policy to encourage workers to inform HR about their romantic relationships at work
• Set stricter rules on dating subordinates for leaders, managers, supervisors, and HR teams, and enforce consequences when necessary
• Take employee complaints and concerns seriously, rather than dismissing issues that are brought up by employees
• Create a framework for crisis situations so there is no delay in addressing concerning incidents that arise while managing workplace relationships
• Ensure civility in all interactions, as it is not for HR teams to judge or berate employees
• Set safeguards in the palace to support employees who might be struggling in a situation where they feel pressured or coerced by colleagues or leaders

What to Do When Employees Disclose Their Relationship to HR:

• Create a “Cupid Contract” template that workers will be required to sign to confirm that the relationship is consensual
• Discuss how the worker’s role might be affected to understand if changes need to be made to ensure it doesn’t cause issues at work
• Be prepared to shuffle talent to different teams or roles in case there is a conflict of interest
• Communicate the rules on workplace behavior and company expectations to ensure they are aware of what may not be appropriate for work
• Prioritize discretion, as employees may agree to disclose the relationship to HR but would still prefer not to become the center of gossip among colleagues
• Create a safe space for employees so they don’t feel that keeping the relationship secret is better than disclosure

The HR Job Isn’t Easy, and neither Is Enforcing an HR Policy on Workplace Romance

Employees are great at keeping secrets, whether it’s an undisclosed vacation away from work or a secret romantic interlude. In most cases, news of the relationship will never make it to the HR desk, nor will it affect daily operations. Still, HR teams need to have a strategy in place for managing workplace relationships. Many unexpected situations may occur requiring an amendment to the company policy on employee dating at work, but these incidents should also be handled with delicacy without shaming employees or violating their rights.

Organizations that have a reasonable HR policy on office romance will find it much easier to have honest conversations with workers and navigate such situations rather than dealing with the aftermath of secrecy. Of course, even with the most fair guidelines on workplace romance, HR teams may still have to occasionally deal with the results of a messy breakup or its impact on workers, but this isn’t an impossible task. Dealing with human emotions and experience is a standard part of the HR role, and a little empathy and understanding can go a long way in resolving matters amicably.

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